There are a lot of tough things about being a feminist parent. One of the most frustrating is trying to find toys and books that don’t reinforce gender stereotypes. I’ve ranted a few times about “girl” toys, but this time will be different! This post is about books.

Since My Grrl is still young, it’s been easy to fall back onto favorites when it comes to reading her stories. We’ve had countless readings of Dr Seuss books, some Elmo and Dora books, and Spider-Man books. But since she is getting a little older, and partly because her folks need a little bit of change, I’ve started looking for some positive girl role model type stories.

The article over at The Guardian about feminist books for five-year-olds caught my eye, and I’ve already wanting to look into a few of the ones she lists. (I liked how she wrote her review of the books, and then the reactions of both of her kids to the story.)

An obvious ‘duh’ I should have thought of was Pippi Longstocking. I really loved the movies when I was a kid, although I think that might need to wait until My Grrl is a little older. It’s a definite idea to get for my niece who is almost 6 though.

One of the two books My Grrl has was actually on her list.

Princess Smartypants By Babette Cole

A riotously subversive read. “Princess Smartypants did not want to get married. She enjoyed being a Ms.” Princess Smartypants keeps giant slugs as pets and challenges her geeky prince suitors to roller-disco marathons. When one of them finally wins her over, she kisses him, intentionally turning him into a toad. “When the other princes heard what had happened to Prince Swashbuckle, none of them wanted to marry Smartypants. So she lived happily ever after.” Excellent. Although, interestingly, the children seriously struggled with the idea that anyone might not want to get married.

I really like the idea of the tough and smart princess that doesn’t need to get married or have a prince rescue her. However, I had a bit of a problem with the execution in Princess Smartypants. She was just plain mean to the princes. When we tell the story, we try to say that what she is deliberately doing to them isn’t nice. It doesn’t matter if the person is a prince, that doesn’t justify turning him into a toad just because you don’t want to get married. I really believe that the message could have been told in a kid friendly way, yet still convey the idea that a girl doesn’t have to get married or have a man to have fun and be happy. My idea was that the final prince did all the things she asked of him, and since he was a lot of fun, they decided to be best friends. Or something a little better than deliberately turning him into a toad. It could have also shown girls to tell people what they want, and to communicate. The story that her mother was pushing her to marry someone, and that the princess was trying to make the tasks impossible to get out of it, instead of just telling her mother what she wanted…just doesn’t sit well with me. Again, a good idea, but poor execution.

The other book we have is The Paperbag Princess.

Princess Elizabeth was planning on marrying Prince Ronald, who was practically perfect. Then along came a dragon, which destroyed her kingdom, kidnapped Ronald, and burned all her clothes so that she had no choice but to wear a paper bag. She tracked down and outwitted the dragon. She challenged the dragon to burn forests with fire and to fly around the world. The dragon completed the tasks but after flying around the world a second time became tired and fell asleep. Elizabeth then saved Ronald. He didn’t even thank her and told her to come back to rescue him when she looked more princessy. Then Elizabeth realized what a bum Ronald was, told him off, and went off to live her own life.

The Paperbag Princess story was better, but the ending was a little abrupt. Even My Grrl seemed to think there should have been more to the ending, but otherwise it’s a decent book. Recommended for those with young kids.

Anyone have any good suggestions for books we should buy her? I definitely want to check out the library, but I also want to support authors who create books with positive messages. I know there are some good kids books that feminists would be happy to read to their kids, or have their kids read once they can.

I’ve gotten used to bad commercials for video games. Especially when it comes to representing women who game. But the latest commercial for Uncharted 2 goes a step farther.

*sigh*

When I Googled for this commercial, the hits I did find thought this was hilarious. Some days it sucks being a female gamer.

Oh, Marvel. First you don’t care about insulting and alienating readers by offering up “hot sexy fun”, but now you want to help us look stylish!

The article starts out innocently enough by plugging the costumes for sale in their online store. Since they only stick to four of their big named heroes that are tied into movies lately, it’s understandable that there aren’t any female costumes featured. But fear not ladies! They have some products just for us!

The consumer products team at Marvel is thinking big when it comes to females.

The entertainment company, best known for its library of comic book superheroes ranging from Spider-Man to Iron Man, is starting 2009 with a major push into the women’s apparel, cosmetics and accessories markets.

Thanks, Marvel. You really just see us as either entertainment for men or as a dollar sign, don’t you? In case you’re curious, like I was, what the hell were they thinking:

[W]hat is the messaging behind a Marvel branded line of make-up and how does it relate to the Marvel characters and stories?

“With a branded line of make-up from Marvel, girls will be able to feel as if they are going from ordinary to extraordinary just like the super hero characters in the stories, ” he explained. “There is also such a nostalgic undertone that either young or older girls are drawn towards because of the long history and brand behind the name Marvel.”

The lip glosses come in an assortment of yummy flavors and give the lips a shiny tint; just the right amount of color for summer. For less sheen, the lip balms are a great way to keep your lips perfectly pouty.

Can someone please tell me what super heroine used lip gloss to gain superpowers?

Between the condescending Girl’s Guide to Comic-Con and this latest fiasco out of Marvel, it’s no wonder females aren’t flocking to read comics. And those of us who are geeks are becoming more pissed off and vocal about the sexism and misogyny everywhere in geek culture.

To top it all off, I took a look at the online store plugged in the article. One could find costumes for plenty of male Marvel characters, but only one lone costume representing female characters. Spider-Girl. And she’s “Sassy”, with a short skirt and everything. Come on, they couldn’t even include Invisible Woman for fuck sake? They have the other three of the Fantastic Four costumes, but not her! Guess she wouldn’t be sexy enough.

Some days it sucks being a female geek.

Technorati tags: marvel, comics, sexism

Via io9, I found a photo gallery article about Comic Con. The title? “The Girls’ Guide to Comic Con 2009“. Yeah. It just get’s worse from there. And even though this article claims “we’ve got a pretty good idea of what eager girls can expect”, I really don’t think they do. Especially when they start off by saying:

Women will be rushing the stage, offering to do star Jake Gyllenhaal’s laundry on those washboard abs that he acquired for the film [Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time], since he spends much of it fighting, shirtless or both.

Wow, seriously? How very sexist and condescending to say. Because obviously all I’d want to do is offer to wash his clothes. That’s what chicks do when they see a hot guy, right? Their domestic instincts just take over! Harumph.

From there it just goes on describing different movie projects and the male stars attached to them. I guess the writers didn’t think “eager girls” would want to attend a comic convention for, oh I don’t know, COMICS. Here and there they would compare a movie to one that had a large female audience, like saying Time Traveler’s Wife has the “wonderful sappiness of The Notebook, but for the most part they don’t go into much detail about the movies themselves, except to say how “hot” the male actors are. Apparently I don’t go to see movies for the plot or story; I only go to see the hot guy. Unless of course it’s a movie with a lot of women, then it falls into The Notebook or soap opera territory.

Their comments on The Wolfman put me over the edge:

Vampire-lovers have it all wrong. Werewolves can keep you warm, sympathize with your monthly curse, sniff out where you lost your keys and not thirst for your sweet, sweet blood.

Monthly curse? Oh ha ha, let’s make a joke about menstruation! You see, women get all moody and turn crazy once a month, so it’s totally like turning into a wolf. AmIright or amIright? Harumph indeed.

I really can’t pick out even one summary that was good. Even when talking about the ABC series version of The Witches of Eastwick it goes from saying “female empowerment” to talking about how their wardrobes will give the Desperate Housewives a run for their money. Or when they talk about Dollhouse, it’s “girls who kick butt”, even though Echo is “sometimes a bit airheady”.

Really, LA Times, could you have avoided the misogyny? It’s bad enough you’re marginalizing female Comic Con attendees who don’t go just to ogle hot guys (to say nothing about those of them who aren’t heterosexual), but you’re also playing on the same old geek stereotypes. FAIL LA Times.

Technorati tags: la times, sexism, misogyny, comic con, geeks

Via Oklahoma Women’s Network Blog, I see that The Oklahoman chose to run a sexist and racist political cartoon. Take a look:

In case you can’t read the caption it says “Fiesta time at the confirmation hearing”. And yes, President Obama is wearing a sombrero while offering up Sotomayor as a pinata for a group of Republicans who each have a stick.

The racism is obvious, but the sexism seems to have escaped the people at The Oklahoman. Violence has very commonly been used to silence women and “keep them in their place”, and Oklahoma is one of the worst in the nation when it comes to violence against women:

Oklahoma ranks as the 3rd worst state in the nation for women. Much of what holds Oklahoma women and girls back is linked to our state’s culture of violence and disresepct for women. Oklahoma ranks #4 in women murdered by men, #1 in child abuse and our domestic violence shelters are full of women escaping violence.

So the image of Obama asking “Now, who wants to be first?” to a group of men holding sticks, waiting to beat up a smiling Sotomayor who is strung up on a rope sends a strong message to any woman or girl who has opinions or wants to achieve in a male dominated field.

Just take a look at the sexist attacks on Secretary Clinton and Gov Palin during the presidential race. Very often they involved threatened violence against them. It was wrong then, and this political cartoon is wrong now. Violence against women will always be wrong.

Way to stay classy, Oklahoman.

To send a letter to the editor:

MAIL:
Your Views
The Oklahoman
P.O. Box 25125
Oklahoma City, OK 73125

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Yourviews@oklahoman.com

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What we require
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3. “Name withheld” letters are not accepted. Nor are letters signed only with initials or a first initial and last name.
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6. When referring to a news story or previous letter published in Your Views, cite the headline or letter writer’s name and the date of publication.

Technorati tags: the oklahoman, sexism, racism, political cartoon, sotomayor

Rape and sexual assault are more common than people want to admit. Among all the women in your life, you know at least one who was raped, and probably more who have been assaulted. They may not have spoken to you about it, but being groped, fondled, kissed, and so on by strangers or people we know, without giving consent, are just a few things that too many women have happen in their lives.

Throughout June, a coalition of bloggers, spearheaded by Sheril at The Intersection, are bringing attention to the plight of the women and girls in Liberia and are calling it Silence is the Enemy. There are areas where the fighting has ended, but mass rapes are continuing. What’s going on over there is horrific:

An International Rescue Committee survey suggests 12 percent of girls aged 17 and under acknowledged having been sexually abused in some way over the previous 18 months. Further, of the 275 new sexual violence cases treated Jan-April by Doctors Without Borders, 28 percent involve children aged 4 or younger, and 33 percent involve children aged 5 through 12. That’s 61% age 12 or under.

It’s hard to look at Baby Grrl and imagine that in Liberia, she has a good chance of being raped before she becomes a teenager. And while it’s dire across the globe, let’s not be smug and complaciant that women and girls are immune in Oklahoma. Stop Child Trafficking Now works with local law enforcement and the Department of Justice to help bust the sex slave industry that is prevalent at the many truck stops along Oklahoma highways.

That’s why we all need to speak up. To DO something. Sciencewoman has a good list of what we can do:

A place to start:

* Call your congressperson. Congresspeople, in fact. Look up their contact information here. Tell them you have been compelled to contact them to find out what they can do to stop sexual violence against women and children in all forms, and abroad as well as in this country.

* Donate money (or time, if you have the skills) to Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF, or Doctors Without Borders). They provide medical care to the children and women Kristof reported on, and to countless other women and children in war-torn countries across the world.

* Donate money or time to your local women’s shelter or to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline ’cause as much as we want to think this is a furrin problem, it ain’t (although perhaps it’s not so grevious here).

* Spread the word about this blog effort - through telling your own stories to friends and family, or through getting involved in your community shelter projects.

* Join in (with your own story, or not) on your own blog. A bunch of bloggers far more eloquent than me (updated list here) are donating any blog traffic money collected in June to MSF, and more traffic means more donations. We’ll be joining in, although details are still fuzzy (as we really don’t make enough to make our traffic donation worth while - so need to figure out a multiplication factor) - I’ll post an update with the final plan. In the meantime, visit the list and read their posts on this topic, or look for their tweets with hashtag #silencehurts .

If you want to help with child trafficking, donate to Stop Child Trafficking Now. Or if you’ve got another organization you donate to or want to give a shout out to, go with it. There are a lot of good ones out there.

The most unlikely way to donate will come in September, when Rock Band: The Beatles is released. On Xbox 360, the exclusive, special version dowloadable track “All You Need is Love” will be available, with all proceeds of the sales going to help Doctors Without Borders. I have no idea if it was the NY Times article that was the deciding factor, but even if it wasn’t, MSF is a wonderful organization that does a lot of good throughout the world.

Speak up. DO something.

Technorati tags: silence is the enemy, rape, doctors without borders

Just in time for bikini season, Marvel is releasing TWO comic titles which feature an all woman heroine cast! But because we can’t have a female hero, super or otherwise, be something other than an object for teenage boy’s and men’s entertainment or a woman in a refrigerator, both titles are sexified up!

Via SeeBelow*, first up is Models, Inc.. Let’s let Marvel themselves tell us about it:

Fashion Week is always a hectic time for models, and this year is no exception. Between escaped wolves, robbery attempts, and overly friendly police officers, Mary Jane Watson, Patsy Walker, Jill Jerold, Chili Storm and Millicent (Millie the Model) Collins are testing the limits of their endurance. But when a brilliant young set designer is found murdered with three bullet holes in his back, and Millie proves to be the prime suspect, the models are forced to play detective in order to save one of their own!

Yeah. Just what I was looking for when I wanted a strong female character driven comic. Models who fight crime. Think the description is bad, just take a look at the cover, complete with the typical crap that goes with “women’s” magazines, like how to lose fat or articles about makeup.

As a female comic fan, those covers would not make me want to read them. And while I find them insulting, it’s the second comic that makes me stabby. Meet the Marvel Divas! Because nothing says superhero like “hot sexy fun”!

“The idea behind the series was to have some sudsy fun and lift the curtain a bit and take a peep at some of our most fabulous super heroines,” says Marvel’s Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, “In the series, they’re an unlikely foursome of friends–Black Cat, Hell Cat, Firestar, and Photon–with TWO things in common: They’re all leading double-lives and they’re all having romantic trouble. The pitch started as “Sex and the City” in the Marvel Universe, and there’s definitely that “naughty” element to it, but I also think the series is doing to a deeper place, asking question about what it means…truly means…to be a woman in an industry dominated by testosterone and guns. (And I mean both the super hero industry and the comic book industry.) But mostly it’s just a lot of hot fun.”

Who, exactly, is this for again? There’s the implication that we get to see them naked in the shower. The “naughty element” and “hot fun”. It doesn’t sound like a comic that is geared toward a largely female readership to me. Besides, I can’t imagine that if you wanted to get into what it truly means to be a woman in a male dominated industry you’d hear them talking about their romantic lives instead of talking about the sexism, discrimination, and frustrations actual women who do work in a male dominated industry deal with every day.

As if that alone wasn’t enough, Marvel’s editor in chief Joe Quesada had this to say about the criticisms:

If you’re [a] Marvel reader and truly feel we’re sexist, then why are you reading our books? Now, perhaps you’re not a Marvel reader, then if that’s the case, I’m not quite sure what you’re criticizing if you don’t read our books?

You get that? He doesn’t think they are sexist, otherwise why is he addressing the reader as thinking that way, and even if they are, he doesn’t care. Especially if you don’t read their books, then he doesn’t want to hear your opinion. He’ll do whatever it takes to make money, even if it means insulting and alienating readers. His idea of a strong woman and feminism is someone who can kick ass while looking sexy. Because it’s all about how a woman makes herself look for the pleasure of others, not what she accomplishes or even just what she wants for herself.

It’s crap like this that drives me to read good comics that can take issues, tell good stories, and often have beautiful artwork.

Technorati tags: marvel, comics, sexism

Today is Ada Lovelace Day! (Who is she? Check it out here.) Everyone is encouraged to blog about a woman who is excelling in tech today, and I had to participate. Anything to promote women in tech. It’s a topic I’ve blogged about a few times, and one that I know I’ll blog about in the future.

It wasn’t easy to pick just one outstanding woman, but I thought I’d highlight Dr. Karen Panetta. I first found out about her when researching The Nerd Girls, and boy is she a great role model for any woman wanting to be an engineer!

[She is] Professor of Electrical and Computer Engineering at Tufts University and Director of the Simulation Research Laboratory at Tufts University. She was the first female electrical engineer given tenure in the Electrical and Computer Engineering Department.

…

Dr. Panetta is dedicated to promoting women in engineering and has created the nationally acclaimed “Nerd Girls” program, where undergraduate engineers research renewable energy topics and serve as role models for younger students. This program is aimed at breaking down the barriers that prevent women from entering the engineering disciplines and bridging the gap between attracting girls into engineering and sustaining them through their engineering curriculum.

She has a long list of accomplishments, board memberships, and research awards. Including “five awards from NASA for “Outstanding Contributions to NASA Research” and “Excellence in Research”.

But to me, her work with young women entering engineering is just as impressive. Women need strong role models, and with the low numbers of women in tech & science fields to begin with, people like Dr. Panetta are in short supply.

Technorati tags: ada lovelace day, women in tech

I was late to discover The Dresden Dolls. It wasn’t until after their second album had been out for a while that I started listening to them. And since I don’t follow the music scene much anymore, I didn’t hear about Amanda Palmer’s solo album until the whole Rebellyon with her label. That’s when my girl crush on her started. I picked up her album Who Killed Amanda Palmer, and I enjoy it greatly. More than The Dresden Dolls, really.

But now comes more controversy. Seems that the next single, “Oasis”, isn’t meeting the approval of the TV & radio outlets in the UK. They take issue with the song making light of rape, abortion, and religion. Amanda wrote in her blog about it.

can i simply state:

WHEN YOU CANNOT JOKE ABOUT THE DARKNESS OF LIFE, THAT’S WHEN THE DARKNESS TAKES OVER.

ok?

the song is not a lecture.
the song is a SONG.
it’s a reflection, a character sketch.
as i was walking over to the bbc the other day and my label rep mentioned that they might not let me play “oasis” on the air, i suggested that i might be allowed to play it if i just slowed it way down and played it in a minor key.
think about it. if they heard the same lyrics against the backdrop of a very sad and liliting piano, maybe with some tear-jerking strings thrown in for good measure, would they take issue?

…

you’re damn right this shit makes people uncomfortable.
it makes people uncomfortable to hear ANYONE talking about abortion and rape bluntly, much less talking about it LIKE THIS….

and i think it makes people uncomfortable to hear the truth about a very real and sick situation:
if you don’t know - or have never encountered - a teenager who is going through intense heavy experiences (like rape, abortion, eating disorders, abuse, fill-in-the-blank)
and is laughing these things off like THEY DON’T MATTER, then you are not ALIVE and AWAKE and living on this planet.
IT’S HAPPENING EVERYWHERE. i see it all the time. it’s called being a confused teenager. it’s real. it SUCKS.

abortion is serious. rape is serious. lots of things are serious. do they think i’m blind?

the song isn’t even so much ABOUT those topics, it’s about denial, it’s about a girl who can’t find it in herself to take her situation seriously.
that girl exists, everywhere. you probably know her. you’ve probably met her. you might be her.

Can I just get this out of the way first? Amanda I fucking LOVE YOU!!!!

Ok.

The whole post is worth the read. She also talks about the freedom to be able to use humor as an outlet and freedom to let people express through their art. All points are very true.

But the one item that stuck out to me that wasn’t addressed was this:

i emailed back and asked which outlets. the reply:

”NME tv, Scuzz, kerrang, MTV, Q, the box … to name a few. There is only a few networks: bauer, chartshow and MTV. They control all stations and they all had the same issue….”

A few networks control all the stations. That’s a huge issue all around the world, and has a devastating effect. Those few people decide what the music/news/television/etc public get to consume, and as a result, there are fewer views and opinions available. That’s why it’s so important to keep net neutrality, internet radio, and really the interwebs themselves available to as many people as possible and free from monopolies and censorship.

For those who want to support Amanda, she lists the contact info for the outlets in the UK for fans who want to voice their displeasure. And if you haven’t picked up her album…do it. You can get it via her website, in addition to the usual places like Amazon and iTunes. Although if you get it from her site, she will get a larger percentage.

Now, if only she’d made a tour stop here in Oklahoma I’d be a very happy fangirl.

Technorati tags: amanda palmer, censorship, oasis

Anyone who is a gamer isn’t surprised by the sexism in the video game industry. While there are some advancements in the attitudes about women gamers, it seems that it’s primarily coming from the companies making consoles and games. When it comes to the stores that sell them, their advertisements are par for the course. Take a retailer’s email that BGK received:

The “girls’ section” of the ad curiously features only one platform, the Nintendo DS, a system which, in addition to the distinction of having released a girls’ line with a pink metallic rose option, is a handheld console and therefore does not have the graphics engine of the big seventh generation consoles, making playing something as massive as “Elder Scrolls: Oblivion” impossible on the platform. I know that the Nintendo DS suffers from a dearth of cutting edge games.

However, I’m stunned to find that your company thinks the only games that would qualify for female consumption are games related to fashion design, exercise, child-rearing, and animal care, none of which make the Top Ten Nintendo DS games on your frontpage. With the addition of “Happy Cooking,” you would have created the ultimate sexist Nintendo DS video game collection of all time.

Way to go, Game Crazy/Hollywood Video! You just alienated a chunk of the gaming community. You do realize that women make up about 40 percent of the gamer market, and not all of us want to play just a handheld, and within that stick to stereotypical “girl” themed games, right? Just look at well known female gamer and X-Play host Morgan Webb. Even she did a rant called “Games for Girls“.

Another company is targeting women, but their take is different. GameStop’s has a special promotion “that delivers free 12-month subscriptions to popular female-friendly magazines with the purchase of select fitness titles.”

As a special incentive, shoppers spending $34.99 or more on designated products from now through Feb. 22 will receive a free 12-month trial subscription to their choice of Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, O Magazine and more.

“We know that getting in shape is one of the toughest New Year’s resolutions to stick with, especially for busy moms who often don’t have time to spare for exercise,” said Mike Hogan, Senior Vice President of Marketing, GameStop. “Today’s moms are looking for ways to incorporate exercise into their lifestyle. Active video games are a terrific way to reach your fitness goals, and as an added bonus, they can be enjoyed with your whole family.”

While this is better than the first advertisement I mentioned, I still have a couple of problems. Like why target only women, and only moms for that matter, instead of anyone who wants to get into shape? And on top of that, only offer magazines that reinforce the gender stereotypes, our cultures emphasis on “thin is pretty” and “fat isn’t healthy”, and promote “treatments” like homeopathy, herbs, and the like that aren’t science based medicine.

A better solution? Forgo the magazines and the mention of moms, and instead focus on using the Wii, which many people already own, as a way to exercise to become healthy for the whole family. And for the first advert, I agree with BGK and send out another email focusing on different games women would enjoy…some of which have cool female characters! Like Portal!

Technorati tags: women and video games, sexism