There are a lot of tough things about being a feminist parent. One of the most frustrating is trying to find toys and books that don’t reinforce gender stereotypes. I’ve ranted a few times about “girl” toys, but this time will be different! This post is about books.

Since My Grrl is still young, it’s been easy to fall back onto favorites when it comes to reading her stories. We’ve had countless readings of Dr Seuss books, some Elmo and Dora books, and Spider-Man books. But since she is getting a little older, and partly because her folks need a little bit of change, I’ve started looking for some positive girl role model type stories.

The article over at The Guardian about feminist books for five-year-olds caught my eye, and I’ve already wanting to look into a few of the ones she lists. (I liked how she wrote her review of the books, and then the reactions of both of her kids to the story.)

An obvious ‘duh’ I should have thought of was Pippi Longstocking. I really loved the movies when I was a kid, although I think that might need to wait until My Grrl is a little older. It’s a definite idea to get for my niece who is almost 6 though.

One of the two books My Grrl has was actually on her list.

Princess Smartypants By Babette Cole

A riotously subversive read. “Princess Smartypants did not want to get married. She enjoyed being a Ms.” Princess Smartypants keeps giant slugs as pets and challenges her geeky prince suitors to roller-disco marathons. When one of them finally wins her over, she kisses him, intentionally turning him into a toad. “When the other princes heard what had happened to Prince Swashbuckle, none of them wanted to marry Smartypants. So she lived happily ever after.” Excellent. Although, interestingly, the children seriously struggled with the idea that anyone might not want to get married.

I really like the idea of the tough and smart princess that doesn’t need to get married or have a prince rescue her. However, I had a bit of a problem with the execution in Princess Smartypants. She was just plain mean to the princes. When we tell the story, we try to say that what she is deliberately doing to them isn’t nice. It doesn’t matter if the person is a prince, that doesn’t justify turning him into a toad just because you don’t want to get married. I really believe that the message could have been told in a kid friendly way, yet still convey the idea that a girl doesn’t have to get married or have a man to have fun and be happy. My idea was that the final prince did all the things she asked of him, and since he was a lot of fun, they decided to be best friends. Or something a little better than deliberately turning him into a toad. It could have also shown girls to tell people what they want, and to communicate. The story that her mother was pushing her to marry someone, and that the princess was trying to make the tasks impossible to get out of it, instead of just telling her mother what she wanted…just doesn’t sit well with me. Again, a good idea, but poor execution.

The other book we have is The Paperbag Princess.

Princess Elizabeth was planning on marrying Prince Ronald, who was practically perfect. Then along came a dragon, which destroyed her kingdom, kidnapped Ronald, and burned all her clothes so that she had no choice but to wear a paper bag. She tracked down and outwitted the dragon. She challenged the dragon to burn forests with fire and to fly around the world. The dragon completed the tasks but after flying around the world a second time became tired and fell asleep. Elizabeth then saved Ronald. He didn’t even thank her and told her to come back to rescue him when she looked more princessy. Then Elizabeth realized what a bum Ronald was, told him off, and went off to live her own life.

The Paperbag Princess story was better, but the ending was a little abrupt. Even My Grrl seemed to think there should have been more to the ending, but otherwise it’s a decent book. Recommended for those with young kids.

Anyone have any good suggestions for books we should buy her? I definitely want to check out the library, but I also want to support authors who create books with positive messages. I know there are some good kids books that feminists would be happy to read to their kids, or have their kids read once they can.